I had expected a rabbit hole. I wanted a rabbit hole. Did I get a rabbit hole? No. The Amygdalab’s L-spatial Anomaly Detector led us to the supply closet of a library in Akron, Ohio instead. At least a rabbit was present when I walked through. So it was through the supply closet, and into…
A customs line. Well, it was intended to be a line. Someone must have gotten overly enthusiastic however, because it turned out to be a maze; a literal maze. It stretched out for miles.
After what seemed like hours, I finally got to the other side of the maze. Waiting for me at a desk was a Tapir in a security uniform.
He politely handed me a form and asked me to fill it out. Upon completing the form, the tapir took it, reviewed it, then handed me yet another. Many of the questions of the second were the same as the first. I looked at the top of the form; it read “Post-Primary Application Form for the Application to Apply for the Entry Application Form”. Needless to say I found this boggling, but I had come expecting these things. I took a moment to address the Tapir directly and asked him why so many papers would be required for entry. “It’s for the mountain.”, he told me pointing to the wall. Looking, I suddenly realised was not a wall, but a window. They were making a Mountain of Paperwork.
“Is there another way to get through without all the paperwork?” I asked.
“Naturally, where’s your Passport?”
I pulled out my passport and handed it out toward him, It never occurred to me that I might one day see a confused Tapir. “Is something wrong?” I inquired.
“I don’t know what this book is, but if you can tell me where the port you passed on the way here is, we can proceed.”
Thinking quickly I mentioned the Akron Canton Airport that my plane to Ohio landed in.
“Very well,” said the Tapir, “Now let’s go through customs.”
Relieved I followed him, into a nearby room. What proceeded afterword was perhaps even more bizarre than the mountain of paperwork. First I was made to put on a devil costume and jump over a baby, perform a Haka, bury a sardine, and spit on a bride.
After we went through customs, the Tapir opened up a nearby door and I was allowed to step into Wonderland.
Original Pages from Livia’s Journal: